Ver 15

Are we missing something? Oh yes, the epic superhero-supervillain battle. So I’ll let you have it.

We see Heroman flapping his arms, flying over the city of Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich, scanning for crime. Then suddenly, he sighted a glint of a bodyless head with a fez. “The legendary The Stick! The legendary Stick, The! The Stick The legendary! The Stick of Legends! Oh wait that’s not right. Well, whatever...” Then Heroman swooped down with his arms folded back and a diving plane sound trailing him, intent on catching this guy-lollipop-supervillain. And at the same time, The Stick also sighted a glint of a person in an insufficiently-described outfit hurtling towards him, so he sidestepped and ran away. This left Heroman plunge all the way down to the ground, smashing a small hole that always managed to lead the person who made it, who is in this case is Heroman, all the way into a backwards country with a thousand alphabets. Of course today it isn’t that backward, but that is the way Heroman goes because I still need him to finish this story. So Heroman managed to be back to where The Stick managed to dodge his attack, and hunt him down using his Dimension Distortion Detection Device®, in short a gadget that will find The Stick via his signature lack of an intrinsic third dimension. Where did Heroman get that? He just does; he’s a cartoon. So he proceeded to hunt for his prey, when he was suddenly smacked in the back of his head with a bat. Heroman quickly turned around and saw an amazed The Stick wielding a wooden bat bent in such a way that it contours Heroman’s head, right up to the ears! Of course this comes as no surprise to Heroman, who is too thick (as evidenced by lack of damage to his head) to even think of that. Instead he punches The Stick, but the gap between his knuckles fit The Stick comfortably, and The Stick counterattacked with an interdimensional punch! If The Stick was 3-dimensional, that punch would have broken his own fingers, but this time, he was able to knock out Heroman, who had sprouted stars and spirals over his head, accompanied with birds. Then when Heroman got up a little while later, he sported a black eye. How did The Stick do that? I don’t know. So anyway Heroman shook his face and became annoyed, then spun around in a crazy twist and transformed into a weirder version of himself, but with a police uniform and a green face, and stretched his arm (the long arm of the law, I guess), grabbed The Stick, and called in some K9 units to play fetch. After getting bitten in the face, with dog spit pouring into his universe, The Stick began to take damage, and after being mauled some more by the rest of the kennel, he ended up bruised, wounded and unconscious. Then like any good superhero will do, Heroman dumped The Stick into jail and flew away, conspicuously missing the face and uniform he donned before. The Stick, however, is too beaten up to escape from the prison, and began to wonder who that person is.

And there you have it, the epic super-fight.

And that is it with the life of The Stick.