Ver 13

And so, one night, Hemo decided to rob a local bank because his earnings from mugging is not anymore sufficient to cover the additional food expenses due to his eating requirements being greatly increased by his abilities. But little does he know that this night will be a surprise.

Being undefeated, he is confident that he could pull off the heist alone with the most badass of ways. So he broke the glass door of the bank with a rock and short-circuited all sensors with gooey blood – his, of course. But upon reaching the vault, he glimpsed upon a figure, and immediately shot at it with blood spurting from his wound at high velocity, and knocked out the figure. After that, Hemo tried to open the vault like the way it is done in the movies, with the ear to the door as he turns the knob while simultaneously opening the keyhole with a nifty trick he was testing for weeks: loosening the internal workings of the keyhole with blood and trying to make a copy of the key with his blood and opening the lock with his ‘blood-key’. In short, he was relying on luck to make his blood open the lock. And he was really lucky that night, because he was able to open the vault without much difficulty and finally got inside to get his reward. Only, that there is no reward! The vault is emptied; not even a coin is spared. And after the shock, he tried to search the vault, but heard a voice behind him, laughing. With a mixed feeling composed mostly of negative ones, he slit his wrist and aimed the blood flow at the voice behind him but to his surprise; all he could see is what looks like a moon at gibbous phase, but with eyes, a mouth, and a fez. Not that Hemo knew it was a fez, but I am just giving you hints as to the true identity of the laughing figure (Actually, with blood flowing like the mighty, and noisy, Niagara Falls, Hemo couldn’t hear the laugh.). The laughing figure “took off” his fez and caught the stream of blood with it! Hemo tried to aim the blood flow to different parts of the “face”, but the fez seemed to home in on the blood. Then, when the blood flow stopped after about 2 minutes (Hemo stopped the blood flow, which allowed the more-numerous-than-an-average-human’s platelets to clot and patch up the wound at faster rates – something Hemo adapted since he always felt so hungry if he bled too much.), Hemo just looked at the weird figure. Then, the figure aimed his fez at Hemo, pulled out what seems to be a bathroom plug, and the sound of gushing water poured forth. Then gushing blood poured forth. The force of the flowing blood swept Hemo off, slamming him to the walls of the vault until he was unconscious.

When Hemo woke up, he was at hospital with a blood transfusion bag beside him. The thing is, the bag is full, and he feels fine. Hungry, yes, but fine. So he pulled out the blood-injecting equipment, wrapped a bandage around it, and ran away, somewhat shamed, but happy that he did not end up in jail and was still able to buy breakfast after mugging three people in a row. Oh, and his skull dagger? It was by his bedside, mysteriously not taken by the police as evidence for one of the bloodiest and cleanest robberies in Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich.

And for the dumb person who asks: Of course Hemo brought the dagger away with him in his escape from hospital. He ain't as dumb as most supervillains, you know.