And so, one night, Hemo decided to rob a local bank because his earnings from mugging is not anymore sufficient to cover the additional food expenses due to his eating requirements being greatly increased by his abilities. But little does he know that this night will be a surprise.
Being undefeated, he is confident that he could pull off the heist alone with the most badass of ways. So he broke the glass door of the bank with a rock and short-circuited all sensors with gooey blood – his, of course. But upon reaching the vault, he glimpsed upon a figure, and immediately shot at it with blood spurting from his wound at high velocity, and knocked out the figure. After that, Hemo tried to open the vault like the way it is done in the movies, with the ear to the door as he turns the knob while simultaneously opening the keyhole with a nifty trick he was testing for weeks: loosening the internal workings of the keyhole with blood and trying to make a copy of the key with his blood and opening the lock with his ‘blood-key’. In short, he was relying on luck to make his blood open the lock. And he was really lucky that night, because he was able to open the vault without much difficulty and finally got inside to get his reward. Only, that there is no reward! The vault is emptied; not even a coin is spared. And after the shock, he tried to search the vault, but heard a voice behind him, laughing. With a mixed feeling composed mostly of negative ones, he slit his wrist and aimed the blood flow at the voice behind him but to his surprise; all he could see is what looks like a moon at gibbous phase, but with eyes, a mouth, and a fez. Not that Hemo knew it was a fez, but I am just giving you hints as to the true identity of the laughing figure (Actually, with blood flowing like the mighty, and noisy, Niagara Falls, Hemo couldn’t hear the laugh.). The laughing figure “took off” his fez and caught the stream of blood with it! Hemo tried to aim the blood flow to different parts of the “face”, but the fez seemed to home in on the blood. Then, when the blood flow stopped after about 2 minutes (Hemo stopped the blood flow, which allowed the more-numerous-than-an-average-human’s platelets to clot and patch up the wound at faster rates – something Hemo adapted since he always felt so hungry if he bled too much.), Hemo just looked at the weird figure. Then, the figure aimed his fez at Hemo, pulled out what seems to be a bathroom plug, and the sound of gushing water poured forth. Then gushing blood poured forth. The force of the flowing blood swept Hemo off, slamming him to the walls of the vault until he was unconscious.
When Hemo woke up, he was at hospital with a blood transfusion bag beside him. The thing is, the bag is full, and he feels fine. Hungry, yes, but fine. So he pulled out the blood-injecting equipment, wrapped a bandage around it, and ran away, somewhat shamed, but happy that he did not end up in jail and was still able to buy breakfast after mugging three people in a row. Oh, and his skull dagger? It was by his bedside, mysteriously not taken by the police as evidence for one of the bloodiest and cleanest robberies in Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich.
And for the dumb person who asks: Of course Hemo brought the dagger away with him in his escape from hospital. He ain't as dumb as most supervillains, you know.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Ver 12
Like any good supervillain, the progression from a shocking experience – this case, the pool of blood in his own basement – to a master criminal is a very obscure one. They say the mugger then killed all cats in his neighborhood, went to Iraq to provide blood transfusions for the Islamic fundamentalists, and returned on a vacation to trash the city of Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich, which is his hometown and base of operations. Still, some say his very pressurized blood poisoned the waters to cause red tide around the world. Still others say he just became a supervillain via obscure procedures. Whatever the case, the mugger now walks with blood on his hands and a new name: Hemo.
Like any good supervillain, Hemo knew he must have a name that suits him well, so he picked hemo. Why hemo? He discovered his powers while being emo. Since the power was related with blood, and thus hemoglobin, he added an H to emo, becoming Hemo. Wearing black, ugly outfits that honor the rock subculture, he is at first glance, emo and most probably will kill himself in 3 minutes. But don’t be fooled. He will point a finger at you and mug you while waving a black skull dagger with his other hand. If you dare engage him in close quarters combat, he slits his finger and shoots you in the eyes until you get blinded and ineffective at fighting while beating you up with his improved physique (The speed by which his circulatory system works means more oxygen and food are delivered to all cells, making him fitter than the average mugger. The downside is that he is very, very hungry if he uses up too much organic material, say, bleeding a river of blood, from his already efficient digestive system.). Then he robs you. If, however, you carry a gun and shoot him, blood will most likely spurt out of the bullet wound, hitting you with such force that you are knocked down unconscious and dirty. Then he robs you.
Like any good supervillain, Hemo remains free from bars since police have no effective counter against him. Police small arms fire will just incapacitate the gunner, while running him over is almost impossible with his physical and mental capabilities letting him avoid the police cars. The mecha is still under repair, so Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich is hopelessly under the mercy of Hemo.
And like any good supervillain, he gets defeated by a superhero almost all of the time.
Like any good supervillain, Hemo knew he must have a name that suits him well, so he picked hemo. Why hemo? He discovered his powers while being emo. Since the power was related with blood, and thus hemoglobin, he added an H to emo, becoming Hemo. Wearing black, ugly outfits that honor the rock subculture, he is at first glance, emo and most probably will kill himself in 3 minutes. But don’t be fooled. He will point a finger at you and mug you while waving a black skull dagger with his other hand. If you dare engage him in close quarters combat, he slits his finger and shoots you in the eyes until you get blinded and ineffective at fighting while beating you up with his improved physique (The speed by which his circulatory system works means more oxygen and food are delivered to all cells, making him fitter than the average mugger. The downside is that he is very, very hungry if he uses up too much organic material, say, bleeding a river of blood, from his already efficient digestive system.). Then he robs you. If, however, you carry a gun and shoot him, blood will most likely spurt out of the bullet wound, hitting you with such force that you are knocked down unconscious and dirty. Then he robs you.
Like any good supervillain, Hemo remains free from bars since police have no effective counter against him. Police small arms fire will just incapacitate the gunner, while running him over is almost impossible with his physical and mental capabilities letting him avoid the police cars. The mecha is still under repair, so Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich is hopelessly under the mercy of Hemo.
And like any good supervillain, he gets defeated by a superhero almost all of the time.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Ver 11
I guess we are done with some side stories now, so let us continue with the lives of our main characters. Ver is in hospital due to broken bones, the commissioner is still arguing with the mayor concerning the funds for repair and maintenance of the Heudringottingenberger-und-Hzyepterzchwagenoftereich Police Headquarters Mecha, and the Stick is a millionaire who enjoys petty crime and thievery as a pastime; he is never arrested. Heroman, being some sort of cartoon, doesn’t exist until he is needed for a fun story. But don’t think I will forget that poor mugger; he has a good background just waiting to happen.
After two consecutive failed muggings, he felt like he needed a medical checkup. “I think I must have been drinking too much lately.” he said. So he went to the local clinic, where a kind nurse first thought to take his blood pressure, of all things. So the BP apparatus was set up, wound around his arm, and pumped. What the nurse saw surprised her. “Sir, you have impossibly, impossibly high blood pressure! You should be dead, i...” (Not very good a nurse, no?) But the mugger had enough, running away towards the local bar and drinking beer as if it were water or free Gatorade. In the next months after, he was manically depressed, and became emo. Until one day, he took his own life.
Well, not really. He did what emo people usually do other than listen to emo songs in some dark corner of the room: slash the wrists. So in the dark basement of his home, he took one of his skull knives and slashed his wrists with his ‘last words’: “Goodbye, cruel world.” Blood spurted, then flowed, then gushed like a red geyser, or a funneled reverse waterfall, or a continuous bloody sneeze. In fact, the wound was releasing that highly pressured blood that the black emo light bulb in the basement shattered when it was hit with the hemogoblinous liquid. Some thirty minutes later, with a puddle of blood about 4 inches in depth, his blood fountain weakening, and the mugger was still able to say “I think I am finally fainting, dying of blood loss. It’s better than to drown in my own blood.” And after a few more hours, the blood fountain finally squirted its last, which awakened the emo mugger. He looked at his wrist to squeeze out the last of his own blood in a last ditch emo suicide attempt, only to find a scar. He didn’t seem to notice the pool of blood reaching up to his knees.
“The blood fountain, it was all a dream. Whew. I’m hungry.” he said groggily (from sleep and not from blood loss), so he took a bath and went out of the house to buy a burger and coffee. When he was fully awake, he returned to the basement to continue his emo stuff, only to see that there is blood all over, with insects and creepy stuff in his basement being fed by blood.
The mugger freaked out.
After two consecutive failed muggings, he felt like he needed a medical checkup. “I think I must have been drinking too much lately.” he said. So he went to the local clinic, where a kind nurse first thought to take his blood pressure, of all things. So the BP apparatus was set up, wound around his arm, and pumped. What the nurse saw surprised her. “Sir, you have impossibly, impossibly high blood pressure! You should be dead, i...” (Not very good a nurse, no?) But the mugger had enough, running away towards the local bar and drinking beer as if it were water or free Gatorade. In the next months after, he was manically depressed, and became emo. Until one day, he took his own life.
Well, not really. He did what emo people usually do other than listen to emo songs in some dark corner of the room: slash the wrists. So in the dark basement of his home, he took one of his skull knives and slashed his wrists with his ‘last words’: “Goodbye, cruel world.” Blood spurted, then flowed, then gushed like a red geyser, or a funneled reverse waterfall, or a continuous bloody sneeze. In fact, the wound was releasing that highly pressured blood that the black emo light bulb in the basement shattered when it was hit with the hemogoblinous liquid. Some thirty minutes later, with a puddle of blood about 4 inches in depth, his blood fountain weakening, and the mugger was still able to say “I think I am finally fainting, dying of blood loss. It’s better than to drown in my own blood.” And after a few more hours, the blood fountain finally squirted its last, which awakened the emo mugger. He looked at his wrist to squeeze out the last of his own blood in a last ditch emo suicide attempt, only to find a scar. He didn’t seem to notice the pool of blood reaching up to his knees.
“The blood fountain, it was all a dream. Whew. I’m hungry.” he said groggily (from sleep and not from blood loss), so he took a bath and went out of the house to buy a burger and coffee. When he was fully awake, he returned to the basement to continue his emo stuff, only to see that there is blood all over, with insects and creepy stuff in his basement being fed by blood.
The mugger freaked out.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Ver 10
But wait, there’s more. You thought this Ver storyline will not reach 10 entries? This is the tenth entry, and ideas are finally pouring in.
We would call the previously encountered schizophrenic as Heroman from now on, because there is no one else to call Heroman that is important to the story. And if you say that I am breaking copyright laws, I do not. I researched Google and found out that there is no comic book character named Heroman, only Hero Man. And I don’t think I will name a to-be superhero after a florist I never knew existed until I researched Google.
Yes, a to-be superhero, and by that I mean Heroman the schizophrenic. Because of that “POOF” which ended the previous entry, Heroman suddenly acquired superpowers. He now has cartoon-y comic cosmic superpowers! Not that it is that great, really. It is just interesting and fun to picture, and even more fun to have in real life. It is not possible yet for us non-comics, but for a comic portraying an approximation of real life, a character following both cartoon and non-cartoon physics is potentially powerful.
Doubting? You’ll see.
So we once again see the same criminal that failed to mug Ver in the previous entry. I promise, I will add the text because this might be the most interesting dialogue in the whole storyline. And to not spoil the dialogue with paragraphs, I will adopt something I see in scriptwriting: lines.
Mugged: Why are you mugging me? Don’t you have a job or something?
Mugger: (Pocketing the money.) Because this is a fine day to sit down and sip a mug of ale. But first I have to have the money, right? That is why I am mugging you. And this is my job.
Heroman: HEROMAN TO THE RESCUE!
Mugger: You?
Mugged runs away while Mugger shoots Heroman, who gets hit in the stomach in mid-flight and falls down. Heroman stands up with a cartoon-y darkened abdomen, but otherwise he sustained no injuries, being a cartoon.
Heroman: (With strange accent) haHA!
Mugger: Bulletproof vest, eh? Headshot! (Shoots Heroman at head. For some strange reason, the pistol bullet (Why pistol? Because it is harder to mug somebody with a shotgun.) explodes right before impact with Heroman’s head with a yellow and orange flash and a quickly-dissipated cloud of smoke, leaving a headless Heroman. Headless Heroman sprouts his head a second later, just like in the cartoons.)
Heroman: (With that same strange accent) haHA!
Mugger: Magic amulet of bulletproofing, eh? (Draws a pair of skull knives) I’ve heard of that before. (Proceeds to kill Heroman in melee combat)
Mugger charges to the right of the comic strip, where Heroman is spinning his arm and balled fist in a clockwise fashion to “charge up” his punch. Mugger gets hit by Heroman’s fist, and flies away without being that badly injured. Mugger lands on Ver, who instantly recognizes his assailant.
Ver: (Angrily.) Get off me, you bloody mugger!
Air: POOF!
Mugger, in a mangled heap, instantly gets teleported to side of Ver, who runs away because Mugger is still holding a gun, which was fortunately emptied at Heroman.
We would call the previously encountered schizophrenic as Heroman from now on, because there is no one else to call Heroman that is important to the story. And if you say that I am breaking copyright laws, I do not. I researched Google and found out that there is no comic book character named Heroman, only Hero Man. And I don’t think I will name a to-be superhero after a florist I never knew existed until I researched Google.
Yes, a to-be superhero, and by that I mean Heroman the schizophrenic. Because of that “POOF” which ended the previous entry, Heroman suddenly acquired superpowers. He now has cartoon-y comic cosmic superpowers! Not that it is that great, really. It is just interesting and fun to picture, and even more fun to have in real life. It is not possible yet for us non-comics, but for a comic portraying an approximation of real life, a character following both cartoon and non-cartoon physics is potentially powerful.
Doubting? You’ll see.
So we once again see the same criminal that failed to mug Ver in the previous entry. I promise, I will add the text because this might be the most interesting dialogue in the whole storyline. And to not spoil the dialogue with paragraphs, I will adopt something I see in scriptwriting: lines.
Mugged: Why are you mugging me? Don’t you have a job or something?
Mugger: (Pocketing the money.) Because this is a fine day to sit down and sip a mug of ale. But first I have to have the money, right? That is why I am mugging you. And this is my job.
Heroman: HEROMAN TO THE RESCUE!
Mugger: You?
Mugged runs away while Mugger shoots Heroman, who gets hit in the stomach in mid-flight and falls down. Heroman stands up with a cartoon-y darkened abdomen, but otherwise he sustained no injuries, being a cartoon.
Heroman: (With strange accent) haHA!
Mugger: Bulletproof vest, eh? Headshot! (Shoots Heroman at head. For some strange reason, the pistol bullet (Why pistol? Because it is harder to mug somebody with a shotgun.) explodes right before impact with Heroman’s head with a yellow and orange flash and a quickly-dissipated cloud of smoke, leaving a headless Heroman. Headless Heroman sprouts his head a second later, just like in the cartoons.)
Heroman: (With that same strange accent) haHA!
Mugger: Magic amulet of bulletproofing, eh? (Draws a pair of skull knives) I’ve heard of that before. (Proceeds to kill Heroman in melee combat)
Mugger charges to the right of the comic strip, where Heroman is spinning his arm and balled fist in a clockwise fashion to “charge up” his punch. Mugger gets hit by Heroman’s fist, and flies away without being that badly injured. Mugger lands on Ver, who instantly recognizes his assailant.
Ver: (Angrily.) Get off me, you bloody mugger!
Air: POOF!
Mugger, in a mangled heap, instantly gets teleported to side of Ver, who runs away because Mugger is still holding a gun, which was fortunately emptied at Heroman.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Ver 09
Sadly, though, this is the last comic strip in my notebook, so this may be the ending of the Ver storyline. Not really, since we can continue the story. Now, let me begin the way the episode began.
We see our main character, Ver, being mugged by a common criminal. Because these things involve conversations, I would usually not type whatever it is they are saying, but this is Ver. Because he is an unlying person, his words clarify what would seem to be deus ex machina writing, like when he suddenly swings a bat from nowhere and knocks his mugger unconscious. And who would have guessed, Ver did just say something I will not type and suddenly, to even Ver's surprise, he whacked his assailant with a baseball bat. The end.
Not really. Not even close. Because right when the criminal was collapsing of baseball injuries, a weird man wearing goggles, a cape, and an insufficiently described garment was screaming "HEROMAN TO THE RESCUE!" while lunging at where the thief's torso was a second ago. He is Heroman, a perhaps schizophrenic man without superpowers that believes he is a superhero with superpowers that is named Heroman. And of course he is not named Heroman; who would name his or her son Heroman? Oh, and for those who ask why there are no female main characters, Heroman is not female either. Continuing with the strip, the commotion Heroman caused let the mugger escape, but left him in a heap on the ground, from which he quickly got up and tried to pursue the villain, but again failed. All Ver could say about Heroman is "What a cartoon."
"POOF!"
We see our main character, Ver, being mugged by a common criminal. Because these things involve conversations, I would usually not type whatever it is they are saying, but this is Ver. Because he is an unlying person, his words clarify what would seem to be deus ex machina writing, like when he suddenly swings a bat from nowhere and knocks his mugger unconscious. And who would have guessed, Ver did just say something I will not type and suddenly, to even Ver's surprise, he whacked his assailant with a baseball bat. The end.
Not really. Not even close. Because right when the criminal was collapsing of baseball injuries, a weird man wearing goggles, a cape, and an insufficiently described garment was screaming "HEROMAN TO THE RESCUE!" while lunging at where the thief's torso was a second ago. He is Heroman, a perhaps schizophrenic man without superpowers that believes he is a superhero with superpowers that is named Heroman. And of course he is not named Heroman; who would name his or her son Heroman? Oh, and for those who ask why there are no female main characters, Heroman is not female either. Continuing with the strip, the commotion Heroman caused let the mugger escape, but left him in a heap on the ground, from which he quickly got up and tried to pursue the villain, but again failed. All Ver could say about Heroman is "What a cartoon."
"POOF!"
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Ver 08
According to the next comic strip in my notebook, The Stick will rob a bank for the first time because in his robberies, or revenge against Ver and the society that supported him, he acquired a taste for luxury.
The Stick is supposed to enter Safe Bank, a bank that looks like a safe. In here, the Stick's abilities are shown in full gray-white color as he slips through between the closed glass doors of the entrance. Then, he sticks himself into the wall, making himself invisible by being as flat as the wall, walking through the alternating dark-bright room I have seen before in shooter mobile games. Then, he walks through the laser detectors, the one-dimensional legs, arms, and torso not blocking any photons. For the big door to the vault, he slips through like any one-dimensional character does, and robs everything inside, putting them into his fez. Then he escapes, but his head triggered one of those tricky laser detectors, and an alarm is raised. The Stick runs out with the guards inside the building shooting their rapid-fire maschinengewehr at an impossible target. At that, the Stick runs as fast as his feet can propel him, being still a relatively inexperienced supervillain (Remember, this is his first time in robbing a bank.) and off to an alley, where his bent foot trips him. There, he found a jacket, and had a brilliant idea (Why do you think he would choose a fez for a headpiece?) He bent his head, put the cape on it, and designed a cage to give the jacket a three-dimensional look his own body can't. With this disguise, he banked all his loot in the Pygg Bank (shaped like a piggy bank) and "got his sixth Bugatti Royale."
And that is that with the life of The Stick
The Stick is supposed to enter Safe Bank, a bank that looks like a safe. In here, the Stick's abilities are shown in full gray-white color as he slips through between the closed glass doors of the entrance. Then, he sticks himself into the wall, making himself invisible by being as flat as the wall, walking through the alternating dark-bright room I have seen before in shooter mobile games. Then, he walks through the laser detectors, the one-dimensional legs, arms, and torso not blocking any photons. For the big door to the vault, he slips through like any one-dimensional character does, and robs everything inside, putting them into his fez. Then he escapes, but his head triggered one of those tricky laser detectors, and an alarm is raised. The Stick runs out with the guards inside the building shooting their rapid-fire maschinengewehr at an impossible target. At that, the Stick runs as fast as his feet can propel him, being still a relatively inexperienced supervillain (Remember, this is his first time in robbing a bank.) and off to an alley, where his bent foot trips him. There, he found a jacket, and had a brilliant idea (Why do you think he would choose a fez for a headpiece?) He bent his head, put the cape on it, and designed a cage to give the jacket a three-dimensional look his own body can't. With this disguise, he banked all his loot in the Pygg Bank (shaped like a piggy bank) and "got his sixth Bugatti Royale."
And that is that with the life of The Stick
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